Yamcha goes to the UK Check out who he finds
by Dauntless
Summary: Yamcha descovers an odd building. Little does he know; deadly beasts lurk inside it! Please read and review...


Yamcha meets a deadly enemy! (This is in no way intended to be racist or insulting to any culture) This is NOT a Mary-Sue, though I did make up a character that is barely in the story. Just a name.  
  
Chapter 1 (the 1 and only)  
  
(While Yamcha and Bulma were still together) Bulma: Where are you going?  
  
Yamcha: I'm travelling all the way to England. I even had to buy a plane ticket. I would be spotted flying there myself. Besides I don't think I want to share the sky with those planes anyway. I could end up on a windshield.  
  
Bulma: But you promised to take me out to dinner tonight. I thought you said you would show more commitment from now on?  
  
Yamcha: Look darling, this is important. I'm meeting an old friend, he's very wise and said he could teach me a few very valuable techniques.  
  
Bulma: But he's British! What in the world could he know? They don't even know how to pronounce vegetable name's correctly! Tomoto. I mean what's with that?  
  
Yamcha: All the same, I won't be gone too long. I might even bring you back a souvenir! You know I love you, I just need a little vacation that's all. Besides, this will be good for my training! Goodbye my love.  
  
Bulma throws herself upon her lover and tells him to kiss her goodbye. Yamcha was glad there were no witnesses. Ssssssssssmmmmmmmaaaaack! Bulma: Be careful!  
  
Yamcha arrived at the airport and boarded a plane to London. He even had to dress for the occasion. Wearing jeans, which he found most uncomfortable. Boy, do I miss orange cotton! He thought.  
  
After dining on a delicious first-class meal (and whistling at a hot stewardess), the pilot announced over the speakers;  
  
Pilot: Attention passengers. Please be seated, and put on your harnesses. Remain seated for take-off. This is a non-smoking flight. Thank-you for travelling Japan air, have a good flight.  
  
Yamcha sat in the window seat. Beside him was a dashing young businessman, and beside him was old woman wearing flashy jewelry and reading some classy women's magazine. In the seats in front of them sat an incredibly large man, wearing a most expensive suit. He looked to be a bodyguard of some kind. Beside the giant was a young boy who was typing vigorously on his laptop. He was pale, and small. They didn't say much, though Yamcha was sure he heard the boy call the large man "Butler". Rich people are strange, Yamcha thought. The two seemed quite secretive and suspicious of others on the plane. They whispered a lot to themselves. Yamcha decided to forget about them.  
  
After a long flight, finally they arrived in London, England. Yamcha got off the plane and looked around, trying to blend in with the British. He kept telling himself not to act as though he was a super being. I can do this, he thought. Just act normal. Easier said than done. He was still wearing his unusual shoes (if you wanna call them that). Even his so-called jeans were bunching up and he walked very awkwardly.  
  
Since he didn't feel like getting one of those taxi things, he decided to walk. After all Yofa's place was only half a click outside of London. He left the city and walked upon many vast rolling hills and open meadows. How he had the urge to discard his disgraced wardrobe.  
  
Yamcha: Am I starting to chafe? He picked his weggie. In the distance he noticed a small green dome. Yamcha: What's this. Maybe I should stop for directions.  
  
Yamcha noticed all the odd flowers and life forms. He looked to the sky, and it seemed that the sun had a face. It was laughing at him. Yamcha: Bulma was right, England is strange. Yamcha approached the door, which was rounded at the top. It slid open revealing a strand inside. He stepped in, not knowing why the door reacted in such a fashion. A disturbing creature approached him.  
  
Po: Eh-oh! I'm Po.  
  
Yamcha: The name's Yamcha. Can you tell me how to get to a town called Telfon? The red creature didn't answer. Soon three more appeared.  
  
Po: Eh-oh, Tinky Winky Tinky Winky: Eh-oh Po Po: Eh-oh, Lala Lala: Eh-oh Po Po: Eh-oh Dipsy Dipsy: Eh-oh Po Dipsy: Eh-oh Tinky Winky Tinky Winky: Eh-oh Dipsy The colored creatures continued in this fashion until all were introduced, including Yamcha. Soon they stuck out their ugly bellies and the odd square shapes started to glow. Soon appeared a bunch of British kids screaming and running around. Quite frightening.  
  
Yamcha: Um, excuse me, I think I'll try somewhere else.  
  
Tinky Winky: Yah-mmm-cha tubby toast time! Tubby toast! Yaaaaaay! Tubby toast! (cackle). All the creatures repeated the phrase while jumping and clapping with their padded hands. Yamcha was curious, what's tubby toast?  
  
Soon happy faced toast was shooting from a machine. They're attacking me! Yamcha thought. What should I do? Tinky Winky searched in his purse. He's drawing a weapon!  
  
Yamcha: Who is your leader? What is the meaning of this? Do you know what I am? Fools! The telletubbies stared. The one with the masculine voice left, returning followed by a purple dinosaur. The dinosaur embraced Yamcha to his disapproval. Yamcha gave a swift kick to his purple face, sending the creature skidding to the floor. The telletubbies were horrified. The big one approached Yamcha and chanted something. Soon the purple telletubby was shooting strange forms from its triangular head peace. It's eyes burned against Yamcha. Trying to dodge a purply heart, Yamcha found his "jeans" to be paralyzing. They slowed his movement. Yamcha, knowing his doom could be at hand, turned super-Saiyan. The telletubbies and Barney, regrouped, along with something called Noo-noo. Each tubby had a weapon mounted on the tops of their heads. Tubby toast flew threw the air. Yamcha tried to escape but the sliding doors would not slide! He needed a strategy. Noo-noo charged on its rollers making malicious sucking noises. Yamcha could feel the malice of these creatures, such powerful chi's. They worshiped this "Barney" and he remained the rear. I though Barney was from America! He though.  
  
Soon enough the battle began. The four telletubbies charged. Dipsy tripped and Yamcha sent energy balls flying at her/him.  
  
Yamcha: Take that you smelly troll! The telletubby lay oozing a black bubbly odor. Without difficulty Yamcha struck each freak and injured them. However Yamcha had taken a serious blow, a purple heart had struck his upper thigh. He hoped that only his leg was injured. Bulma would be disappointed. There was a strange sensation coming from his wound. The odor was unbearable. Perfume, very cheap perfume! It ate at his leg like an acid. The purple color spread.  
  
He blasted his way through the dome/house. As he limped through a field speakers rose from the ground. Speaker: Time for Tubby fly by, time for Tubby fly by!  
  
To the injured Saiyan's dismay, Lala was completely recovered. He had blasted her/him! How could she/he be alive. To make it worse, 'it' could fly! What were these beasts? Out of the square on 'its' belly fell a gauntly rainbow haze. Yamcha tried to escape but it encircled him and he fell unconscious to the paralyzing fumes.  
  
Yamcha awoke to a bright light. He looked around. He was strapped to a table. All the telletubbies were currently uninjured and bowing to Barney. Barney spoke in a strange tongue. Soon the telletubbies circled Yamcha, chanting in the same strange language. Muttering from their terrible throats, he could feel their anger. Their rubbery faces gazing and panting. Po approached Yamcha. And brought his/her face up to his. Blinking once. She/he smiled and brought his/her lips to Yamcha's. He had been kissed by a tubby! Tinky Winky removed Yamcha's pants, They're molesters! He thought. Dipsy spread a strange goo all over Yamcha's purple wound. The pain stopped. They left him there, they made six hundred and sixty six circles around Yamcha's table. Soon they rose in a deafening chorus "We love you! You love us! We obey without a fuss. Yamcha the prisoner, here forever stay. Lets all kiss Yamcha today!"  
  
Soon they all surrounded him and hugged him, repeating eh-oh. They investigated his clothing. Barney even came down from his throne to give Yamcha a "Barney cuddle!" That was it! Yamcha had had enough! He grabbed Barney's ear with his hand that was still strapped. He squeezed, causing the dinosaur to scream. All the telletubbies cried with fear for their god/leader/master/lord. whatever. Yamcha could feel their malice grow. Dipsy came to the rescue! Trying to pull the sacred dinosaur away from the revenge seeking Saiyan, Yamcha held the dinosaur and focused his anger. Soon the dinosaur's face was totally covered in purple blood. The blood was terribly acidic and it burned at his hand. Luckily for him, it also ate away at the strap, freeing his one hand. He let go of the ear and struck both the dinosaur and Dipsy in one punch. They fell to the floor.  
  
He ripped the other straps and flew from the hole in the dome that he had previously made. He blasted it into smithereens. There seemed to be no survivors. The injured Saiyan left, soon to arrive at Yoja's house after seeking directions from a neighboring British TV film star. Who was also frightening but not nearly as cultic or hostile.  
  
At his Yoha's house he was healed and continued his training. Later, returning to Bulma he chose not to reveal why his left nut had a strange purple tint.  
  
Did the telletubbies survive? Would the villains ever be defeated? 


End file.
